Like i said from the previous post...

i have so much to say...

i just think that if i put whatever happens behind and accept wat you are cause u cun just shove someone away if they are different from you..

i tried... i REALLY TRIED.

But from what i see these whole week during EVERY session...

i see that i was being ignored..

Not that i wanna make a fuse out of it.

I made an effort to talk to you.

I asked certain things..

i was being ignored like as if i was not there...

or best still ur just talking to that one PARTICULAR person all the time...

Ook, then where do we all stand DAMN!

YOU DUN JUST SHOVE US ALL ASIDE..

AND WHEN NEEDED TO TALK TO US U OPEN UR DAMN POUCH MOUTH!..

I am glad tht i am not the only 1 or 2 person who noticed...

Is just tht ur being unfair...

if u just wanna talk to just 1 ! person!

then Saifen us all out then...

I see how u handle when its gone...

Don't think what u appear on the outside is what we see what kind of person u are...

I AM 100% DAMN SURE u are more than what you are...

a 2 face person...

a liar...

a cheater...

an arse...

don't you made me hit to the max of my boiling point till i spill everything out n settle one on one scores with you.

For i dun wanna do that.

So stop being an arse...

what else can i say about you...?

seriously i dunno wat else more can i curse about you.

But i decide not to do so, i dun wanna get karma...

well... i myself ain't one so i dun think i have much to worry about...

And if u think u are the one...

do be glad u are being talked about...

i dun wanna dirty my blog cuz its meant for happy memories...

Like me and my syg...

So buzz off and be true to who you are before i reveal all out..

You've been warned...

(RED CARD!)

SICKENING Yet quite memorable..

sickening was because i fall sick.

Losing my voice...

BUT YET! I GET TO SEE MY SYG BEFORE THE CAMP!

AIN'T THT GREAT OR WAT!

yeap, and oh memorable was because i had WSS camp.

Working with new people in the musical....well, majority of them.

Well, but you know wat...

i think this camp is quite memorable cuz it taught us nt to be selfish, to respect others, positive attitude n plus on communication.

I mean communication sums it up all but yeah.. ya know wat i mean...

preparation for sunday performance during singing lessons...

Its was a hectic one cuz all groups have been stressing on how to finish the songs in just 2 nights..

people get to sleep late. but i'm glad not many complain...

I am very grateful that people are helping one another out....

hmmm, maybe a few bad eggs who dun but oh well...

at least i get to see team work...

despite the fact that we heard scary things n sleep only 2 hrs or less...

our camp was a paid off...

Plus one dun forget.. how much i miss my syg...

hoping he wld be at the camp with me too like the previous camp in GREASE!. Teeheee!

That sums up the whole of last week...

Lets talk about this week...

I notice...

In life, people do get hypocritical and backstabbing one another.

bUT at the end of the day... look at yourself first before opening your mouth..

I admit, i used to be like one of them... (nt the very bad ones, but just touch n go)

but then i realise, people makes mistakes...

accept it n accept for who they are too...

not to spread news and have so much hatred among one another...

being stuck in between, i really dunno wat to do but try not to get involved so much.....

more to be said but i think it'll be scary if i really list examples down here...

BOTTOM LINE....

I'M a nice girl who dun treats people bad...

I dun pretend to have friends just because of benefits...(thats wat i hate the most!)

Dun pretend to be nice to me, cuz once i know...

you'll never wanna see the bad side of me....

bad omens aside...

lets say the good things...

yes!

I LOVE MY SYG! =D

TESTING!

First of all,
i wld wanna say how much i miss my syg ALOT!... despite me meeting him last thursday...
He'll be busy doing his mission in camp.
All the best for him completing and doing well...

Apart from tht, a news i received was my grandma (daddy's mum)
she was warded becoz of stomache. then come to know its diahorrea infection.
which after she pooed with lots of blood.
Then they think it might be her intestine/stomache infection.
Then too much acid was in her stomache tht caused her difficulty breathing.
When i visited her this morning.
I was surprised to see her condition.
In an oxygen mask. breathing heavily and fast.
I spoke to her, telling her to breathe slowly.
She so wanted to take out the oxygen mask bt had no strength. bt was nt advised to, cuz it might worsen her breathing.
When i look at her. She looked at me, like as if she wanted to tell me how much she was in pain....
i CLD NT DO ANYTHING bt look at her. trying nt to cry infront of her.
i was tramatised by it...
then she was send to ICU. (critical condition)
so critical tht she had to rely on the machine to pump her heart,
cuz her lungs were so tired to pump /breathe anymore...
Tht when i went to see her again, she has lots of needles on her.
Seeing her lying on bed in a very uncomfortable condition.
This time, she had not much strength to lift her hand.
She looked at me feeling tired.
but deep in my heart , i told her to be strong...
dun let go...
doc says she has to go for scanning n surgery or else she cannot survive...
I broke down infront of my relatives...
Being the egoistic me who does not like ppl to see me cry.
Its so unbearable not to cry..
I felt, i had not done so much for her...
I dun see her often cuz i am busy.
But ,
deep down....
I really LOVE her...
i pray to god for her being able to breathe better n in not much of pain and a speedy recovery...
"Mama...
I LOVE YOU...
PLEASE BE STRONG...
NOT NOW...
NOT YET...
YOU'VE YET EATEN MY ABALONE THAT I BOUGHT USING MY OWN POCKET MONEY
I'VE NOT YET BRING U OUT FOR A WALK
PLEASE DUN GO...."

At that point of time...
i felt totally useless,
and afraid,
having no one to lean a shoulder to cry on...
but with my own hands to wipe off my tears...
for i have to be strong...

Debe, thanks for coming down early.
Talked to me ...
i feel better for that period of that time..
but still, i need time.
cuz i am not ready for anything to happen...
i cannot take it.
not now.
not ever...

for i am not strong enought to face such things...


PS: syg, i miss u. i miss u hug that i need so much right now...but i understand...
in time, soon, i would want ur shoulder n that hug from u... ='(

As said for the past 2 to 3 months i have been busy with skl.

But that does not mean i don't have time for him... =)

Hey! don't say you dunno him oK!...

I've been talking about him on my blog all the time about 2half yrs ago k!...

Back then, we're just 2 lovebirds.. falling in love.

then comes certain situations that has to be facing in the future when it comes to marriage..

And now we're still going strong.

With him by my side...

HIm changing so much...

There's nothing more i wanna ask much.

So long as i have him by my side.

Because, his so precious to me that can't be away from my life.

So much so that i cherish every moment i am with him.

Be it on the phone, dates, on msn or on fb..

Every single seconds, minutes, hour...

i just wanna be part of it.

That i don't left out what he does,say, did or whats happening in his life.

Cause to me, his just my other half.

And i can't see him feeling so sad over certain things...

Changes that needs to be made.

I'm willing to take that challenge for i am always ready to go this world.

I just need time cause i need to do my research...

nothing is impossible if u put in the effort.

My pillar of wall,

My antidote,

My happy pill,

My laughing gas,

My serious conversation partner,

My emotional boy,

My LOVER.. =)

My long term and enternity bf! -)

Love ya! <3

Welcome BACK!!!

It's been a few months i have not update my blog.

That's becuz i have been busy with school eversince skl start.

Since 15th of july school has started.

Projects / assignments i shall say has been piling up.

But we managed to pull it through .

Through out months of schooling and seeing my classmates everyday, i gt to make a group of good friends...

I'm glad to say they are a group of people who dun take jokes serious...

They are all open to talk about anything...

Crazy bunch of people.. lol!

And now my exams are over and so is semester 1 !

Having a month break till the next brain cracker starts again.

=)

Look at these 2 pictures.

One manly, one boyish...
Yeap... thats my boy.
Hahah!
Been thinking how much have we've both grown.
Well, i shrink a little.
HE! has grown...ALOT. loL!
From the time i've known him till now...
I must say i'm quite impressed with him...
That i dun have to becoz of little things i nag at him.
For he knows wats his doing and wats best for him.
Of all choices i made most of the time was wrg...
But falling in love with him and not giving up on him from the past till now,
was the best choice i've ever made...
I've nvr fallen for someone so much deep...
I've nvr cried soo much for someone ...
I've nvr cared for someone so much...( i mean i do care for everyone)
But his is special...
I need to take care of his health..
His HEART esp...
Because his heart holds everything...
If without him, i wun have good advice...
If without him, i dunno how much wiser i've got..(loL!)
If without him...
I cannot dun have him by myside da...
His that so PRECIOUS to me...
Someone i could talked everything about...
Someone whom i dun have to feel shy about
Someone whom i dun have to pretend to make it perfect infront of.
Cuz i have my own flaws too and was way many...
For he accepted my flaws..
my stupidity dumb and gong gong actions...
I dunno wats the right word to describe to him...
But his just the MR.RIGHT for me...
to walk down the wedding aile...
to walk down the long journey with me...
to walk down our ups n downs...
to walk down till we grow old....
For death will not do us apart too...
Forever in my heart.....
MY HEARTS CLOSED FOR U.... =-*

SIDE track....
skl's starting next week!
wee!
excited yet scared...
Excited cuz i finally get to touch books and crack brains and hold a pen!
scared cuz i dunno wat the ppl there r gonna be like.
plus i scared i cannot do well... nevertheless, i'll do my best for i dun wanna fail my parents anymore...
commitments....
all , i have to cut down..
i'm sorry if i have to turn certain things down...
but its for my studies sake...
i cun have too many things at a time...
West side story n studies are the prioirites...
family i have to have time for them...
FRIENDs at time...
but most importantly , time spared for my syg too...
Thats the biggest commitment i have to take....
well, nt commitment but is a must one.
For certain relationships out there...
too afraid of commitments and other stuff...
relationships are at loss...
Y with tht decision...
dun ur think its too hasty to cut out sth like tht cuz of other commitments...
To break off for a reason cuz too stress with other stuff...
that needs a breather to take...
That wld be the most dumbest thing to do...
If ppl decides to loss a relationship for tht...
its hard to get back...
Chances are given but not always...
so do treasure....