I just feeling self deprived of not having enough understanding????


I just missed my dad's dinner that i promised to have with my family.
In the end... training ended late and they left for dinner without me...
I came home, having a sincere heart to apologise to my dad...
No response he gave to me....


Sisters and mother were there to trying to talk things out and ended uo my mothers siding them.
Let me ask you this.
If you were to borrow someone's things , u are suppose to return it back to where it suppose to be rather than leaving it lying around right?
The room, the study room are filled with my bags...
So, is it my fault for not keeping it?
No.
Its their responsibility to keep it not me....
So, if the bags weren't kept. who will get scolded?
Me. cause its mine.
But i don't deserve to get scolded ok.....


Team needs me for ITE SC....
AS there will be not enough players on that day...
Blame it on that FCUKING H1N1....
that leads to a change of scehdule from 9th july to 13th july....
12th july to 18th july.,
i'll be away on a bootcamp for SI.
Then ITESC is postpone to 13TH JULY...
WHAT THE FCUK!?!
iF IT hasn't been like tht....
Everything would go FCUKING WELLL!
But now noooo...
Everything just went screwed for me...

TOPSY TURVY!

aNd when all these turned out like this in a day...
i was so reluctant of in a mood not to talk to anyone...
My mum came saying i can say about responsibility...
so where is my manners when ppl is talking to me...
But its just tht i dun have the mood to talk....
wat you expect... FCUK!

nOW IT's like,
i'm at fault at everything....
no mercy was lead on me....

It felt like i'm a let down to everyone....
where do the word.... " understanding" goes?

I think i've been everywhere going ok ok. yes yes...
that in the end... i let ppl down...
and so i left a record of showing i'm of no woman of my words....

I guess what SYG said was true....
"I'VE HAVE TO HELP MYSELF BEFORE I CAN HELP OTHERS.... and....
I CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE AROUND ME...."



I have to say these but, it's the first time ......
i'd ever ask or pray to GOD to ask for help and hope everythings fine....



well, i'm just glad that SYG would actually call me despite him in the camp and suppose to sleep at that point of time....
So ssorry to disturb you syg...
and thank you...
Lorves syg...

I shall say...

My sunday was widely spread today...

I woke up with doing house chores..

Went for 1 hr and a half gym...

Slack at home and went to meet Isk for dinner before he books in....

I thell you...!

I was so sexcited to meet him...

and after 2 weeks...

he became very dark tanned...

i shall not say bangalah huh...

cuz its black..

but his was dark tanned...

lOL!...

As dashing as ever... hehe! except the botak la...

but i like...hoho!!!

Yeap.. had dinner at Pasir ris by the beach...

Exchange of our times in 2 weeks...

His probs in NS...

My probs not in NS...

hahah!

And when we passed by ESCAPE theme park...

we both missed the times..

Like wat Syg says...

" it feels as if we went only yesterday.."

yeap.. all the crazyness tht happened....

Too bad i'm unable to post his picture here...

NOt allowed in UNIFORM...

some other time ba... =D

I'm just glad,

the end of the week has just ended with seeing him....

~Misses and loads of lorve~

=D

NATRI BIBI MADE IT INTO the FINALS of SINGOUT COMPETITION!

Yes!
she made it....


After a visit at Takashimaya to meet Aidil collecting KOLEJ 56's tickets..
At the same time watched them perpormed....
Seeing Syirah, Syaiful, Aidil, Rizal perpormed....
makes me think back GREASE PERPORMANCE....
aRGh.... missing it damn....

ANYWAYS...
heading down to support NATRI BIBI...
she ah....stayed there till afternoon voice still haven open hahah!
But was good she got into the next round...
posters have been printed for her..
Her mother was there too to surprise her too hahah!
HAPPY RIGHT NAT!
HEHE!.....



LATER tht...headed home...
Night been spent searching for upcoming songs...
Pissed and stressed out....
Not only for the competition
but in studies
and families
and future...
The route i'm goin now... are so smokey....
That leads up high in the air , wondering aimlessly.....
i have wat i want in mind but its just too scary .....



Talking about results...
my younger sis got $300 from my dad for getting 3.5 GPA...
wat the hells going on man...
ok la.. giving money is alright but not tht amount!
and dun give money for the sake of wanting us to study well.
That way , it'll spoil us... dumb!
Can't think of other way to boost us in studying..
think of another way la...
not this way...

So many things ben running through my mind everynow and then tht it can't stop...
Tell me how god-die....
shearks!
if only i'm born smart and smart...
loL!.....
i'd pleased my parents damn loads....



Everywhere i go, people would ask me ....
" ya studying in UNI now?"
"erm, no . in ITE higher nitec...."
" oic...."



Not saying i'm not proud to be in ITE...
but at my age i shld be getting a dipolma at least...
MY bestie now ... at the same age as me...
is studying in UNI now...
and where am i?
not even a diploma cert...



I'm just worried for the future .
You know wat i mean...
ReADERs who read this...
i'm sure , you'll be pondering at the same time too right?


THINK ABOUT IT...=D

MY NIGHT WITH BI KONG!!!

tHIS is BI kONG'S spastic face when i can only get to print screen but yet to copy cuz i dunno how...

Each time i print screen it hangs hahah!

Ok, pictures below are the 1 1/1 hours at Jac's place for a swim awhile...

Trying for center parting...

Gabriel' (Jac's new other half)'s moustache in future

Nice expressions right?

Superman

Jac's moustache too!

Superwomen in the making!

Sexy anot?!

Expressing out my feelings

Then here comes the pictures that Bi Kong took!

Banana, yes my favourite =D

Overall, BI KONG still dun wanna teach me.. =(

Yes... Syg has been booked out today... =)

So excited to see him on sunday... =D

seE his dark bangalah faces...

see his big eyesees...

see his botak hair

with botak look army guy...

hahaha!!!

ALright! i shall leave it to photos and short stories of it....

First things first...

I met up with Del, Hui Ping , Jessica, Jasmine and Yunru (Maddness)

for breakfast.

cause they followed me for the second round of audition....

At tht point of time,

i was wodering if SHOWCHOIR did well for the opening anot?

Then i started queueing....

Singing funny songs of teha kept singing yesterday...

"I know you vant me.....

you know i vant you....."

LOL!

Till drives all of them crazy....

Then, i was so anxious...

everyone were like so into their songs... i looked around...

*but songs running inside my head la~*

When its close to my turn... my heart when throbbing.. ahahah!

Sung .....

All 3 judges were impressed...

But 1 negative comment....

Need a change of attire....

SO ....

IMAGE CONSULTANT ANYONE!!!!

I'm somehow bad at tht lOL!!>..

i kinda tricked all of them after the opening of the door...

They felt abit quite unexpected ...

but * jang jang jang!*

hahah!

in return..

i haVe to treat them ICE-CREAM HAHAHA!!!!

WENT to watch movie...

sTORY OF GIRlfriend'S PAST....

THAT SHOW was nice..

"its shows of how much love means to everyone...

regardless of relationship or in family way....

no one can every forget or escape through the hands of LOVE...

cause is LOVE is tht great..."

Head off to walk around...

Then went home.. cuz del and Furby were exhausted...

The rest went separate ways....

Lastly, i wanna thank everyone who are there supporting me...

My family.... for some....

my friends....

showchoir family.....

Maddness...

My classmates....

My course mates.... ya david esp.. hahahaha!!!!

lOL!!!

Thank you for supporting me and there always... Lorves you all and appreciate it!!!!

NOT FORGOTTEN!

Syg, was sick...

"i heard...

and i hope his recovering...

i made it through the second round syg...

Not only for me...

but for you too..

Like i say..

each time i sing a song..

it all relates to you....

Take care while ur inside syg....

Inhaler inhaler and more water please..... =D"

PHOTOS

yap, we are at TOYS 'R' US

dEL WANTS TO showoff her sword...

She wants to munch them! loL!


ya i dunno why this pic is in this side?

I love rainbows.... =)

Cause its colour full!!

In the free shuttle bus from Suntec to City hall...

Del looks cramped!

Fire-woman...

Thats wat i wanna be when i was young..Many ambitions ah...

Furby wants to ride a bike...

Testing the helmet..

Photos... camwhore!

See!!! they eat ice cream! =( loL!!

BUT THEY DESERVE IT! HEHEH!

THANKS FOR SUPPORTING!!! =)

Woah peh.... woke up in the morning and do gardening outside... aite... weather ain't tht hot yet though....

Then bathed and ironed clothes...

My mum bought a newiron board tht its so short for me to iron...

Dumb, kneee injured sis took a picture of me while i was busy ironing the

clothes without me realizing...

SWINE!

Head to school for rehersal for tml..

some didn't turned up though... but is alright...

Head down to Jurong point..

1 HOUR OF TRAVELLING SIA!

till my arse hurts....

Aidil and his gf came....

Amira came with her family despite she not feeling well....

Faiz came and become natri and mine camera man..

hhahah!

wENt home later tht....

Watched Harper island and now i'm blogging...

Hereby,

me sleeping soon

Cause i will meet MADDNESS!!! TML!!!

FINALYY!!!

I MISSED ALL THE LAUGHTER AND TALKS I HAD WITH THEM... =(

but i will be doin tht tml!!! =D

hahah!!!!

Cause tml is my second round of audition with the real judges...

Yes ...

THEM! LOl!>..

oH GOD! I'M So anxious...

I'm gonna have an early sleep like anytime now....

and then tml rest of the day will be spent with MADDNESS...!!!

yesh ah! yesh ah!!! =D

Ah! You see this guy anot???

He was one of the top 8 in ANUGERAH....

AH... his name called KAMSANI JUMAHAT.

Ah....

His the one who sung CINTAKU!

Ah... if you seen him sing anywhere outside??

or in school or in Suria channel...

Must vote for him ok!!!

Vote for him...

His contestant no. 1 !

I'm here not to show-off but i'm advertising my buddy for you guys to vote for him ok...

If you dunno how well he sings... go to youtube and listen. =D

But listen already huh , MUST VOTE!

He ah... u must vote for him... cuz he shldn't be going home...he has the X-FACTOR ah...

His nice, friendly , cute... hohohoho!!>.... and most important... HUMBLE...like bumble bee...

Thats why i say must vote for him....

MUst ok!!!!!

Today's rehersal without irene...

Then went to raffles city for the girls to try out the dress...

yap, so yap... =)

~Pictures~

SHOW CHOIR!

These few days, have been a busy day.

Busy for show choir...

Busy doing reports and presentation

busy with some things...

i'm just so exhausted...

But i'm sexcited tht Esplanade Music Arts Festival has ended...

but i just can't wait for another performance.=)

The last day of second performance was an emotional one...

For it, it was uneceptional cuz i cannot control...

Had Popeye with Isk, Q , Teha and Natri.

We then head home after that....

More pictures willl be uploaded soon....

Love the lashes but its heavy~

Cover girl~ huahua!


Devil Boy

Isk had his hair done botak...

Hah! Love tht short hair of his...

HOT right!!!! =D

Then can rub and play anytime...

But unfortunately, this anytime will have to be some other time...

After he come out.

He'll be leaving this friday...

First UMAR, and next is him...

I'm gonna miss him fcuking much..

That Sunday at Escape was like a dream

Except that we didn't get to ride the crazy rides..

But it's a memorable one....

Syg,the Journal i made do bring it along in camp...

So when you miss anyone of them...

Do an open sesamene and you'll get to see them...

Not only that...

As you say, it'll be your strength to guide to throught the times in TEKONG

Full of trees and beds and boys and mOMohs! loL!!!!

Nevertheless, i'll see you when you come out....

We'll all miss you.... =*

Lorvesss loads to you...