I just feeling self deprived of not having enough understanding????


I just missed my dad's dinner that i promised to have with my family.
In the end... training ended late and they left for dinner without me...
I came home, having a sincere heart to apologise to my dad...
No response he gave to me....


Sisters and mother were there to trying to talk things out and ended uo my mothers siding them.
Let me ask you this.
If you were to borrow someone's things , u are suppose to return it back to where it suppose to be rather than leaving it lying around right?
The room, the study room are filled with my bags...
So, is it my fault for not keeping it?
No.
Its their responsibility to keep it not me....
So, if the bags weren't kept. who will get scolded?
Me. cause its mine.
But i don't deserve to get scolded ok.....


Team needs me for ITE SC....
AS there will be not enough players on that day...
Blame it on that FCUKING H1N1....
that leads to a change of scehdule from 9th july to 13th july....
12th july to 18th july.,
i'll be away on a bootcamp for SI.
Then ITESC is postpone to 13TH JULY...
WHAT THE FCUK!?!
iF IT hasn't been like tht....
Everything would go FCUKING WELLL!
But now noooo...
Everything just went screwed for me...

TOPSY TURVY!

aNd when all these turned out like this in a day...
i was so reluctant of in a mood not to talk to anyone...
My mum came saying i can say about responsibility...
so where is my manners when ppl is talking to me...
But its just tht i dun have the mood to talk....
wat you expect... FCUK!

nOW IT's like,
i'm at fault at everything....
no mercy was lead on me....

It felt like i'm a let down to everyone....
where do the word.... " understanding" goes?

I think i've been everywhere going ok ok. yes yes...
that in the end... i let ppl down...
and so i left a record of showing i'm of no woman of my words....

I guess what SYG said was true....
"I'VE HAVE TO HELP MYSELF BEFORE I CAN HELP OTHERS.... and....
I CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE AROUND ME...."



I have to say these but, it's the first time ......
i'd ever ask or pray to GOD to ask for help and hope everythings fine....



well, i'm just glad that SYG would actually call me despite him in the camp and suppose to sleep at that point of time....
So ssorry to disturb you syg...
and thank you...
Lorves syg...